Who says you're not perfect....!!

A song so aptly sung by Selena Gomez...

Probably she knew that all of us, at least once in our lifetime, doubt ourselves....

Recently an incident made me feel like I am the worst human on the planet...

Oxford Dictionary says... Mistake: an action or judgment that is misguided or wrong...

And so I did.... I said something that I shouldn’t have.... I was stuck between 2 ends of trust and if I chose either of it, another will break.... I preferred the one with the closer proximity and tried to bring both the ends together... but... it broke...

I started doubting myself... for something I did in good-faith... I got to hear some words for myself that I never thought can ever apply on me... I was so badly misinterpreted...

The best part was that, the people who mattered to me….. Believed in me....

And the people who compelled me to think that I was so bad n mean... were actually the ones who were trying to camouflage their mistakes with a little step of concern I took to make things right.... those people dint matter to me....

As suggested by a few angels in my life... I started counting my blessings and sought for things that made me happy...

I realized...... I am perfect in my own way... imperfections in me, seen by others don’t matter... those imperfections make me more perfect....

I realized.... certain traits of mine are exclusive... and no one can match that...

I realized.... I am no super-human... that I won’t make mistakes... Mistakes make me more certain of what has to be done in future...

I realized.... people who want to be with me and accept me as I am and guide me thru my bad days.... they don’t need any explanations...

I realized.... sometimes little things that you do... can make lasting impressions in people's life about you... and you would never know that you did that...

I realized.... REALISATIONS ARE IMPORTANT....!!

Spice in Life...!!

My perception towards life changed when I saw “The Secret”. I started reacting on every situation differently.

For me people around me are the best lessons for me. I have been observing them since a really long time and they are the ones who make me realize so many things by just being themselves and not even talking about it.

“The Secret” says… “We are the creators of our universe”… and lately my habitat made me believe; “we are the devastators too. “

We humans are really stupid. We sometimes just cannot digest the fact that our lives are going on smoothly or maybe perfectly. We know that we have certain people and certain things in our lives that are far better than the unfortunate ones but still we want to run behind those things which are out of our control or even impossible to achieve at times.

We chase those things which are really faraway.. we wait for such a time to come that has passed long back.. we cry for such feelings that should not even exist…

In a pursuit of this insatiableness , we forget to value what is actually ours and in turn, we become the destroyers of our universe by thinking more about what is “not” ours than thinking about what we truly possess.

And the biggest thing that surprises me is that, all of us who are running behind the unattainable very well know that IT IS UNTTAINABLE…

Despite of being aware of all the awfulness, we are always defeated by our heart.

We complicate our lives ourselves and then blame the situation and hold other people responsible.

 We unknowingly try and find “spice” in our lives. A Smooth life is just so bland…  :D

Now here, two beliefs compliment each other completely …

First is, there are different types of Gods… “God of creation” and “God of destruction”. And this is perfectly complimented with another belief that says that there is God within us…

Hell yeah… of course... That’s why we are creators and destructors both...

Slutwalk in my Small Town.. A BIG issue..!!

As they say India is under "transparency revolution"...it awakens the feminism in India too...


My beautiful "City of lakes" – Bhopal, is organizing a Slutwalk...A few pro-active bunch of girlies took this initiative... But as always... This is India.. The event got caught in a controversy because of the name itself...


Hypocrites pointed the finger at it for using the term "Slut"... then those helpless activists had to change it to "Besharmi Morcha"... and I personally find it bolder….


It caught my eye on (no points for guessing) Facebook.. Many of friends were joining and confirming an RSVP to that event. I started reading the different posts on its wall. I was really really surprised to learn a few things while browsing it.


 Firstly about its name... I mean, what’s wrong with the word "Slut"... As a matter of fact, I don’t understand why people take it as an abuse or even consider being one as a disgrace. I would better use the work "sex worker" here to address them.
I personally believe that a sex worker is like any other professional. Like engineers and doctors and managers flaunt their expertise, sex workers flaunt theirs. And by the way, what’s the harm in that? In fact they are the ones who can help reducing the rape cases rate by satisfying those perverts (not to forget, those perverts don’t care to spend money, but care to destroy a life, so nobody can help that).


 Secondly, I saw a few guys commenting like... ‘Why do girls were provocative clothes?’
I was amazed to see educated guys (I assume that they are educated because of the fact that they can operate FB) write completely hypocrite things there and making a fool of themselves on a social forum. They were getting so offended if girls were replying back to them in THEIR language…


I do not understand who has set dressing standards or limits for anybody? Why cannot a girl wear what she wishes to? Do we ever rape a man who is bare-chested or is roaming around I shorts…??


Why does any man, when sees a female, with or without skin-show, imagines her in bed with him and then blames the female for it... huh... funny..!!


People blame girls for getting raped coz of their so-called provocative attire, but what about little girls, who haven’t even reached their puberty or are even so young as 4yrs old, get raped….?


The question that comes to society’s mind, after seeing a girls dressed boldly, is “How can she?”... Instead it should be changed to “Why can’t she?”


My personal experiences have been a prey to these frustrated and desperate men too…


Ever been in a crowded place where the entire town is present… even if you mind your dressing, you will hands trying to grab your butts or busts, in that mob… now what is THAT? What do they get out of it?


Don’t you perverts don’t know how to keep you own-self satisfied...?? Can’t you just go ahead and mind your own business? Why do you have to undress a girl in your kinky imaginations and then blame her for everything?


I don’t say that she should quit wearing Indian traditional. She should dress for the occasion and for herself not for others.


This is not a breach of Indian values or traditions... Indian values are not about what clothes to wear… Indian values are about Respect, Truth, Wisdom and Being Human. People who think that wearing salwaar kameez and saree is what you call as Indian values, they are fooling themselves.


I completely support these young girls are doing by standing up to themselves and their rights.
I strongly believe that even the parents and families should support and educate both a boy and a girl for the same.


Go Girls..!! Go fight for yourselves..!!

Life converted me to an agnostic..!

I was not like this when I was born or when I was brought up. I, like any other child, inherited the theistic beliefs my family has. But as they say.... “I was born intelligent, Education ruined me”.... Similarly, my experiences and my logics changed me…

I was asked to say “Hari Om” as I get up in the morning. Then in school we had prayer assemblies before the classes used to start and also after the classes got over. I used to celebrate all the functions which had some or the other mythological reason behind it and which always involved lots of family prayer services. Just because each and everyone around me had a habit of remembering god at every instance... like calling out… “Oh lord” or “oh my god” and stuffs like that in every other language this contagiously got into me as a habit… (My mom says this is good, as because of this habit at least I remember god every time.)

Bit by bit, I was graduating in my life... I was leading my spiritual life the way my family and others wanted me to.  I used to bow my head in front of every place of worship and in front of any sign of any deity or God. In my quest to have everything around me go normal, I started falling for the Fasting Practices. Fasting Practices are given utmost importance in Hinduism. It is firmly believed that fasts help achieve divine blessings from the God Almighty, or any deity you worship, for fulfillment of your desires.

But something was always going wrong with me and my fasts. At every instance when I used to start fasting for some desperate wish of mine, it happened that, that wish back-fired me terribly. And then there came a time when I totally lost it and my beliefs changed into Question marks.

Now, I do stand with my family in prayers, I do bow my head coz my family asks me to, I do celebrate all functions with all the rituals… But, I do it just because I respect my family and THEIR viewpoint. I do it just because it makes them happy. I personally don’t have any faith left in the existence of any such power. It’s not that I have stopped going to worship places, but I go there for recreation and the atmosphere. It’s peaceful with positive people around.

I believe in only myself and my own thoughts that will make me have whatever I deserve and desire. I am now very logical and idols made of stone or other stuffs cannot lure me to trust them. For me, everything happening around is because of some reason or logic behind it.

I don’t disrespect others beliefs & practices and I prefer that nobody should impose them on me and force me to accept them as truth. I firmly follow the “live and let live” rule and would appreciate if people give me my own space as far as this thing is concerned.

I might be an atheist (as people like to call me), but I am definatly not a theist. I am an Agnostic and I don’t mind being one.

Tète-à-tète on Internet..!!

This is a very contemplative and interesting conversation with a very dear and intellectual friend of mine who seemed somewhere confused with what is happening to her or around her… It made me want to share what thoughts came out of me while making her feel comfortable….A lil long chit-chat... but makes you think over... So, here it goes...............

ME: Anyways, Hows Life?

MY FRIEND: life sucks as always !!

ME: oh plz, Why r u saying so?

MY FRIEND: okay, remember u said...

It’s easiest to be happy

ME: yes...

MY FRIEND: how is it?

ME: just concentrate on the things that r good in ur life...

if anything is bothering u... try not to think about it

like yesterday few things were bothering me...

I preferred to think about something that is in a better situation in my life

have people around u that make u laugh n smile

the more u stay away from people... the more u tend to think about things that make u sad

MY FRIEND: But if you escape problem... You can’t find solution to it

ME: a problem and something that is bothering u r 2 different things

there r some things in life that u really cannot change

like... goin back in time...

remember one thing...

listen carefully...

never call a problem... a "problem"... u will never be able to solve it.....

instead...

call it a "situation"... u will be in a better position to tackle it...

got it..?

this makes me wanna write a blog on it...

:P

MY FRIEND: hmm
hw r u most times... cheerful...
keep people around happy...and enjoy everything

ME: u r talking about me?

MY FRIEND: yes

I’ve never been

from long times

ME: I don’t know... I just feel like... I might not get this moment again in life... why waste it...
I won’t disagree that when m alone... m always thinking about stupid things that I can’t change in my life...
but when m with people... I prefer I shud behave like an alter personality and just be a person knows how to enjoy every moment...
listen..
the more I will whine about things around me... the more I will stay quiet and into myslf..... the more I will lose people's interest in me...
they would always think... “why to talk to her, she is always complaining about something or the other"...
people might not want to be with me...
u getting me??
or u r asleep?

MY FRIEND: yes

but we don’t care about people

it doesn’t matter who r around... those who deserve will make an effort

 I like with family people... most of tyms coz...

ME: then what is the thing that is bothering u darling??

MY FRIEND: it’s like being safe

being with family is always best... coz they love u whatever

unconditional

ME: I knowww... but what is bothering you????

MY FRIEND: just I never comprehend that hw people r happy

hw they lead a happy life

I’ve never

ME: u think like that.... see... you r comfortable with the family... coz they love u unconditionally... so whenever u r with them... u r happy.... so obvsly u r leading a happy life...

MY FRIEND: no

ME: then?

MY FRIEND: its minimum necessity

I like being only with them...

ME: so what’s wrong in that?

MY FRIEND: m an escapist

probably...

ME: that’s your nature... don’t use negative terminology for urself...
it’s okay if u like it more with family...

MY FRIEND: not d nature

I don’t know how to be happy that's all

ME: listen... u r trying to be critical... don’t over-analyze ur life... u r in a very good position girl...
u don’t need to push urself in darkness saying that nothing makes u that happy.

don’t over-expect from life... u have a very good life...

I instead... start chilling out...

MY FRIEND: achievements satisfy me

MY FRIEND: achha

r u satisfied with ur life

ME: completely.... no....

I am almost 65%

MY FRIEND: r u satisfied with urself

ME: no... I know I can do better

MY FRIEND: den don’t u feel bad about it

ME: no... I feel good about the 65% than feeling bad about the 35%.... there is more of it to feel good about...
thou I try to raise that percentage...

MY FRIEND: I mean if ur not satisfied with urself

doesn’t make u unsatisfied

ME: there r some things that r out of MY control...

MY FRIEND: like??

ME: I either try in get them in my control... or wait for d rite time...
like.... m not that great in cooking and managing the house.... m trying.... okay... and.... like... I m not able to work right now due to paper work... so... n waiting for the rite time...

MY FRIEND: not like this

r u satisfied what u r now??

ME: in what sense r u saying...?

MY FRIEND: achievements

ME: if u r talking about the past...??

yes I m...

MY FRIEND: ya

ME: whatever I have so called "achieved"... or done in my past... was the best that could have happened to me... if it was good... it couldn’t have been better.... if it was bad, I at least know it was not worst...
and moreover... I cannot change it... instead I can manipulate what’s coming my way...
my present...
and my future

MY FRIEND: hmm... so u r an achiever

ME: see... I was not a topper in class n all that... not at all a sports person... but I don’t regret all that or feel bad about it... I feel good about other things that happened to be at the same time... like... enjoyed my school n clge life to the fullest... having great family n friends...

MY FRIEND: That’s hw exactly d difference comes...

I’ve never been... honestly...

people who get everything they want... or make best out of everything... r d one to

be happy. no matter how low their goals were

coz life is almost same for everyone...

if u make high aims or low... it’s equally struggling

it’s what u do there

ME: no sweets... life is never ever same for any two people in the entire world...

MY FRIEND: “It’s not about the shoes; it’s what you do in them. It’s about being who you’re born to be.” — MJ.
:P

ME: the circumstances... the nature... the background... everything is diffrnt
:D

MY FRIEND: yes... but it gives equal opportunities of happiness and sadness to their levels

ME: yeah... its wht u choose...

MY FRIEND: its abt dealin things

ME: see... its rightly said.... every coin has two sides... similarly.. everything that is coming ur way, comes with two options... its about which one u choose...

MY FRIEND: yaa ..

that what differentiates betwn achvrs n loozers

ME: see... according to me... NO ONE is a looser...

tht person did whtever he felt was right for him at tht moment... atlst he did wht his heart said...

good or bad... it was HIS choice

MY FRIEND: but if he regrets laterr

ME: he has no one to blame...

MY FRIEND: almost all times

he didnt gave his best

ME: maybe tht was how much his capability was...

but yes... one should not give up after tryin his fullest to a point whr he knows tht he wont regret about this later...

MY FRIEND: achha

I’ve got to go now..

 i'll catch u in sumtym..

ME: k
love u baby...

MY FRIEND: tak cre :)

love u tooooooooooo...

Bye :)

Sorry people if this bored u... :P

Someone so innocent....

The purity in his eyes, the simplicity on his face, the selflessness in his talks, the immense love in his whole-self.... makes him one of the most adorable person on the earth or now, heaven...I cannot recall of anyone so simple.
M talkin about my first love, MY DAD.... the first man in my life...
When I close my eyes and his ever-smiling face comes in front of me, it hardly takes me a second to start shedding tears... Not because I miss him, but because the innocence on his face melts me internally....
He could make any damn person fall in love with him... not that he was some Prince Charming, but he was a person with a charm tht can make anyone smile out of your tears in moments....
Anybody good or bad, can never think of hating him... He was loved by one and all...

I used to get so so so jealous when he used to come to drop me in my kinder garten and my fellow-mates used to run to him and start playing with him... pulling him here n there and have fun with him...Being a kid, I used to think that they are him away from me as they dont have a dad like him....
 But he used to compensate it all when he used to ride me back home, telling me stories through out the way.. sayin the I am a princess on a horse (our kinetic honda) and all the vehicles around us were other animals and how pricess and her horse were wining by over-taking them... :))
Or he used to sing songs for me all the way back.. (Zindagi ek safar hai suhana... being his favorite)... And only then I used to feel so satisfied that he is ALL MINE.....

I strongly feel, whatever happens, happens for good..... now you will think what was good in loosing such a sweetheart...(though I still cannot believe that he is gone)
I feel, the world now is so cunning, so mean and so shrewed that anybody could have ditched or fooled him... which could have hurt him....
One cannot imagine the way he used to trust people and his chilled out and giving nature would have made him go in, dont know what, direction....
I would not have been able to see him broken at that moment.....

Whatever life he had, was rocking.. he gave and received love from practially EVERYONE around
him...
No one can beat that....He was SOMEONE SO INNOCENT....!!


Love You Dad...!!
Happy Birthday..!!

Mother's Day..

Was having an argument with my significant other about the significance of Mother’s day… No doubt he was right at the point that everyday should be a mother’s day.

But hey, how many times in a year do you plan to give her a surprise at 12 other than her birthday? How many times in a year to you take her out making her feel the importance of her relationship with only “YOU”? How many times in a year do you thank her not just for being such a wonderful person but for being a wonderful ‘mother’?

We often appreciate what she does for us but it is only on this day when we CELEBRATE what she does.

Rejoicing not HER but her MOTHERHOOD, a state that happened when YOU happened. It is not her Birthday… it’s a kinship that took place only because you were born or you exist. And that is no less than a birthday to her.

Her selfless upbringing, her patient attitude, a parent in her. She was never like this before and she is never like this without you. She is like this only after you and only with you.

Then why not give this relationship a special day and make that woman feel proud of being a “mother” that entire day. Make her count all the amazing things that she did and does for you.  Saying that we can do it every day is impractical. Again I would say, how many times in a year do you treat her for being SIMPLY A “MOTHER”….

My story book... called LIFE..!!

I have read so many quotes and thoughts about LIFE... and got convinced with none...

One night when I was trapped in my own thoughts... I gave my own definition to LIFE... at least MY LIFE...

I believe that my life is a story book… a book whose author I am myself… though I have co-authors to accompany me but the final copy of my book is entirely mine….

 It’s a book which certainly is not an open book…. Not everybody can read this book and if they can, they cannot read all the chapters… 

There is a substantial evolution of maturity in every succeeding chapter of my book… and each of them casts a varied set of characters...

 These characters make my story… they make it complete and meaning full…

some characters are there from the starting of the book, which help me to embark the story…  without them it was next to impossible to even start this story… they ACTUALLY  give my story a splendid prologue…  these characters r indispensible since the starting till now… and will be till the end of the story…

Some characters enter in the middle of the tale…

Some characters come and go... giving my story some really exciting and worth instances… which keeps the story interesting and keeps me motivated to write more….

Some characters are so promising that my fable gets vain without them and few among these promising ones,  despite of being so important, just take a twist where they get self-erased….

Some characters compel me to end their chapters. I really don’t want them in my story. They complicate things; make it difficult for my own self to understand the actual meaning of the story… these characters lead to a point where it starts getting annoying….

Some Characters transform the entire meaning of the story…. Take it to another level… they are not CHARACTERS… they become CHAPTERS themselves….

As they say… In life, you HAVE to end a few chapters to start new ones…. But I feel it definitely not happens every time…

I have started new and beautiful chapters in my life but, undeniably, not able to close a few which I should….

Some chapters don’t let me end them… They complete my story but are unwanted…. They give meaning to my story but are indefinable… they are magnificent chapters but make my story look ugly…. They are supposed to be ended but I keep on going back to them and try to continue them…. They are a major part of my story that makes me want to linger on to them despite of being aware of the fact that they will be of no more value to my new chapters and the rest of my story… these are among those self-pampering chapters who demand un-due attention… Somewhere I really want to tear those pages off my book but I am not able to... as I said they complete my story…. So, I just try not to flip the pages and read those old, incomplete chapters…. And concentrate on the new ones which are bringing a new meaning to my anecdote...

I, like every other writer, want to write a beautiful saga that brings smiles to everyone’s face…I wish to be strong enough to face those set-backs that make me feel helpless in my pursuit of writing an exquisite story called LIFE..!!

Pre & Post - Party Depressions

Whrs the party Tonite..???!!!

Will be surrounded by self-conscious people around... Hoping to be the most self-confident....

So, the venue, time, dress... everything is decided... and the time starts nowwwww.....

Slipping in my kurta.. but oops... its not actually SLIPPING in... infact m STUCK in.... Damn.... trying to somehow FIT in..... n I succeed....

but.. look at me... whom shud I blame for this tight fit?? sssshhhh m OKAY.....

After adjusting myslf in the mirror, I prefer to take it offf... but tht might take even more time than it took to put on... so... give up... running short of time.... dont wanna take risk...

Thanks to the saviour "Duppatta" that made me camouflage some more extra of myself...

And M in depression.. trying to think of as many people that are wear sizes bigger than me... but continue to be in depression after thinkin of their years of marriage....

So wanna ask everyone in the house to leave and get house arrested by my own extra pounds...

And I reach the Party... happy to hear some real big diplomats praise me on how m looking... praising my dress's colour, pattern, saying tht now cute m lookin... thou i missed the word "sexy"... but i was satisfied...

there was a big anti-derpresant for me.... BOLLYWOOD MUSIC....
and bangggggggggggg... i had lots of fun...!!

after a good session of crazy moves and funky dancing.... there was a session of photograph clicking...

Finally came the moment of post-party depression when I peeped into to digi-cam to have a look at the frame clicked.. and trust me... the frame was toooooo wide....

Was I lookin a bunch of tyers during the whole function??

Were all the pics that were clicked apprehended me as a kids staker toy.. ???

Damn.. I was in depression again....

The story continues.... and me and my depressions live happily ever after..!!

I am an MBA….

There goes the alarm… at 5:30 in the morning…. crap….. it has been years that I saw the clock ticking at this time(now its usual though)… Got up for some exam prep… oh yeah.. everyday is like an exam now…

Two years ago used to I used to get up to prepare myself for Accountancy, Business Economics, Statistics, Financial Management, Marketing Management, HR Management, Retail Management, Communication skills, Productions and Operations Management,etc….

Nothing has changed..
Now I prepare myself to handle the account of my pocket money; handling both micro and macro economy of my house; take care of vital stats of me and the other people in the house; manage household finances; go to the market for shopping the grocery, and motivate, staff, delegate the humans in my house; go to a retail store to manage the best deal; communicate with the families related to me in the best possible way; produce and operate the different spices and vegetables in a way that it avoids wastage and gives the most optimum result.

So, see… nothing has changed….

I was a manager before, I am a Manager now….

Welcome Me..!!

So, after a long wait of my blog to be commenced, it shouts “wait is over”..
Yes, have been thinking from a long time to start pouring my heart out somewhere and alas… here I am….
This is after I saw a friend of mine sharing her blog, which ignited my fire again…

I was missing my habit of writing diary. I stopped writing it long back. Tired catching it up again but thought that I have lost that fire in me…So trying yet another time, the techno way… thru blogging… :)
Hoping to be as good as I was…..

Sometimes I feel I was so much into writing diaries and poem because I never had someone to share my emotions with and hence made my diary, my best friend…Now I have wonderful people around me who can listen to me 24x7… so, my poor diary felt left out.. and then when one day i found it in my closet under my ignored clothes, I realized maybe I was running away from the time which pulled me back…. My poor diary kept all my secrets intact like a true best friend…

Life is cruel… I then save my a** threw that diary in my favorite lake trying to close all the chapters which made me feel opposite of what I am today…

So, starting this blog in anticipation that I will never have to delete this under any circumstances….

Welcome Me….. to the world of Blogs…!!